24 March 2023

How to find your ultimate tribe

‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.' ~motivational speaker Jim Rohn

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

This quote by motivational speaker Jim Rohn, refers to the law of averages; any given situation will be the average of all outcomes. Life is often dictated by nurture or nature and nature is our environment; this includes who we choose to spend time with. Those in our direct circle have the ability to influence us beyond what we can ever imagine. It’s important to seek out those who help us better ourselves, and also encourage us to do the same for others.

First find yourself
Being a part of a community will require you to bring forth your authentic and true self. There is no room for pretending or holding back. Feel confident about who you are and be open about sharing your vulnerabilities. This is where true authentic connections happen; when we fully accept who we are – we naturally attract more experiences which align with our needs. Celebrate your uniqueness, the moment you start accepting yourself is when others will do the same.  By being true to yourself, you will become a magnet for those authentic relationships that benefit you on a soul level.

What does your current circle look like? does it meet your needs?
Take stock of who your friends are, how they make you feel, what they spend time doing and what their future aspirations are. Do they align with your level of thinking? Does spending time with them excite you and make you feel good? Our friendships should uplift us, challenge us and inspire us. Life is simply too short for anything else. If you aren’t getting this from your circle it’s time to explore uncharted territory and seek those that set your world ablaze in the best possible way.

The benefits of belonging to a community
We all have an intrinsic need to belong. This is a deep rooted instinct which once existed solely to keep us alive, still has real implications on our emotional wellbeing. It allows us to have a better sense of self identity and validates important feelings we have about ourselves. When others judge us, we lean on our inner circle as a reminder of who we are, rather than accepting what others may project at us. Support from those who understand us is invaluable. When offered advice from those we trust, we feel cared for and guided. The wisdom that our tribe imparts on us is so important to our growth and journey in life. Our friends can also be a link to wonderful resources and inspiration. Our life blooms in fabulous ways when we are with the right people.

Find a leader you can look up to and which resonates with you
It’s so important to find a community with a leader who holds similar values and morals which you aspire to. Someone who is warm, supportive and inspiring. A leader’s behaviour sets the tone for its following and how everyone works together. If something doesn’t feel right then don’t be afraid to look elsewhere. Your leader should be someone who you really look up to and who sets a wonderful example. Go where you are inspired!

Meet new people
The only way you are going to be able to integrate with a new community is if you get in on the action. Meeting new people and seeing where you feel most connected is crucial. Explore your interests and be open to meeting new friends and other like-minded people. It can be quite scary stepping outside of your comfort zone and feeling like the new kid on the block, but the only way to experience something different is to step into the ‘new’. The best things almost always happen outside of your comfort zone. So don’t be afraid to get out there and try new experiences and people. You could be one conversation away from a magical new chapter.

A key component of someone who truly belongs in a community is someone who takes an active role in helping things run smoothly. Communities by nature revolve around all of us doing our bit and each of us being a cog in the wheel to ensure everything is in good order. When we come together; magic happens. Utilise your strengths and put your hand up for roles which shine a light on your natural abilities. Making yourself invaluable helps you feel like you belong somewhere and you are able to express your talents in a beautiful way- by helping your community and those who are a part of it.

Know when it’s not right
Don’t get so caught up in finding a community that you settle for something which doesn’t feel right for you. Hold out for the right tribe, they will come. You won’t always come across the right people for you, first thing. Ask yourself how they make you feel and whether they are on the path which you also want to follow. By honouring what you seek, you will eventually attract what is right for you.

if you are interested in finding out more about life coaching and if it is right for you contact us 

Written by TNM Coaching


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