Don't Stop Believing! Hold on to that feeling!
When you believe that your success is possible, how do you sustain that position?
If you look at your life and honestly evaluate why certain things worked and why some of your goals were never realized, you'll see patterns:
- at some point you decided not to hold them in your attention, not to believe in them or simply to forget about them, or
- you pushed too hard or
- you were too needy or attached to the outcome or
- you were too scared to take an required action or
- you were too controlling to let go and surrender.
"What if " and "Yeah, but" and doubts are challenges when it comes to believing your dreams are possible. Those thoughts slow down the process and shift the focus to reasons it won't work.
They happen in your mind and are turning points. Are you going to go down the "Yeah, but" road, or will you refocus on your belief?
The key to this wisdom, and you already know it, is in being present in the moment, as coaching language calls it "present perfect" or being in the now. I know that all those words sound like buzzwords. Simple truths are most difficult to grasp, they're simple and not easy.
Stop for a moment and become present. Look around you, look at the room, look at this book, look at your hands, notice your breathing, look at the window, see the nature, recognize that you are present in now and here. Have no thoughts about the future or past, only thoughts about this very moment.
Notice any thoughts from the past as a memory and notice any thoughts from the future as a projection. Detach form these thoughts and become aware of yourself reading this at this present moment.
Why do people fail in their attempts in creating the success they want? If you believe and are centered and present, you can focus on and create your success. People aren't present. Let me give you a real-life example:
Carlos is a film director and writer starting up a new project. He's worked very hard researching and developing his idea and came to me for support making it into reality.
"What if I put all this effort in writing this script and it doesn't work? I've tried it two times before and it never worked. I need to have some kind of confirmation that I'll succeed. I don't want to waste my time."
As long as Carlos was spending his time thinking negative thoughts, his success didn't stand a chance. Carlos had to stop thinking those thoughts and start having more productive ones.
We worked on his success vision and statement to create clear intent and focus his thinking. I got him to feel, smell, taste and hear his success. I challenged him to take risks and make big steps way out of his comfort zone in order to get key players on board with his project.
And it worked!
Now destined to succeed with key players on board, he began to sabotage himself. Why now, when the only thing he needed to do is to do it did he begin to pull out? He began coming late to coaching calls with the excuse that he is busy and then he brought with him all the obstacles, difficulties and problems. It took a few sessions to understand that he was coming form the position of fear, thus sabotaging himself big time.
"Carlos, Why do you sabotage yourself?"
"I'm not sabotaging myself, I'm just worried and I don't know if this will work," he said.
It was back to the negative, unproductive thoughts again.
Fashion your thoughts to live the life that you dream. Your mind is the greatest asset you have - nurture it with stimulating thoughts and be very protective of the information it gathers from all senses - sight, smell, hearing, feeling and dreaming. Protect yourself from naysayers and Doomsdayers.
How can you get out of Negative thought Patterns?
Consider Affirmations, a daily Gratitude List or other regular practices to keep grounded in positive thoughts. Ask yourself regularly:
Are my thoughts Destructive or Constructive?
Try this for one week:
Every time you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, stop right where you are and say - out loud - "STOP!" "CANCEL!" "ENOUGH!" or "SNAP OUT OF IT!" Then replace that negative thought with its more productive, positive side. You are your own best cheerleader.
Don't use Fear as Fuel
Most of our thoughts are about the past or about the future, planning, analyzing, worrying about what might go wrong. We may feel like we're protecting ourselves against the "What ifs" by preparing for them or anticipating them. If you spend long time energizing th w"What If's" that probability usually manifests and you say "I knew it!" What a surprise! You have created it.
You may also have a similar thought pattern based on past hurts or mistakes: "Don't fly too high you will fall again." "Don't trust or believe, remember what happened last time when you did the same thing." "Mr. X from your past has done Y in this situation, you should expect it again." Those thoughts are deeply seductive as well because they give you a feeling of "This time I will get it right." This pattern creates fear. It prevents you from acting in the now. This is a never-ending cycle because those past experiences are created form your own projecting of the future in the past.
You end up creating a life fueled by fear.
What about Carlos?
The key leap for Carlos was to detach from the past and unhook from the future, to live in the present moment. His actions started to be fueled in the Now, not by fear. We kept elements of future in his life by having a clear intent about what he wanted to achieve with his project. We connected to his intent on weekly basis and in the present moment he decided on his actions. He started to believe that he will know what he needs to know when he needs to know it.
The biggest breakthrough for Carlos was that in order to achieve success he needed to be in the present moment all the time, alert and awake.
And his film? It was a success! Carlos continued to make miracles using his present mind and creative, wild soul.