NonViolent Communication

Learn compassionate relating

What is NonViolent Communication?

NonViolent Communication (otherwise known as NVC) involves both communication skills that foster compassionate relating and consciousness of the interdependence of our well being and using power with others to work together to meet the needs of all concerned. The NVC approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. NVC is not a touchy-feely “hold hands and sing songs approach to communication,” rather a matter of fact laser-focused approach to getting things done. The benefit is that it leaves no hard feelings, and allows everyone involved being part of solutions in a positive manner.

Why is NVC important?

NVC is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. NVC is NOT about manipulation, where we get people to do what we want. NVC is about creating a quality of connection that helps everyone’s needs met through positive dialogue.

How does NVC work?

The process of NVC encourages us to focus on what we (and others) are observing separate from our interpretations and judgments, to connect our thoughts and feelings to underlying human needs/values (e.g. protection, support, understanding), and to be clear about what we would like -- to meet everyone’s needs.

How will NVC help you?

People who practice NVC have found greater authenticity in their communication, increased understanding, deepening connection and conflict resolution.

What will we focus on?

  • Understanding out values in human interactions around problems, conflict, and violence
  • Introduction to the 4 steps of NonViolent communication and four ways of listening
  • Moving to the core of our conflicts: needs and unmet needs
  • Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving)
  • How to give empathy to our self and to others in times of need
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